Musings of an Unpaid Idiot

4,240 notes




I am all about Bucky thinking that Captain America is a goddamn joke

and that it’s an even funnier joke when he finds out Cap is Steve

Because he knows Steve SO WELL he knows ALL THE WAYS he at once fits the persona perfectly and all the ways he doesn’t fit it at all. Steve…

 #somebody calls steve ‘mature and responsible’ #steve looks all modest and goes ‘well thank y—’ #'you're KIDDING right' bucky interrupts #'he used to pick fights with guys three—no FOUR times his size #kept trying to join the army so he could what? shoot a few bullets before a fly landed on him and took him out for good? #then some guy whispered ‘psst you want us to make you bigger? we think it might work this time’ to him from a dark alley #and steve said ‘yeah okay’ and by some miracle it didn’t kill or deform him #so then he spent some time skipping around bopping nazis on the head #which yeah sure okay #but then I was gone maybe SIX MINUTES before he decided it would be fun to grab a plane and play chicken with an ocean #so that knocks him out for a while but when he wakes up does he decide to take it easy for a while?#maybe stop trying to give the people around him as many HAPS—that’s heart attacks per second—as possible?’ #'bucky—'#'shut up steve #the answer is no #no he does not #he starts fighting aliens #ALIENS I tell you #and after he gets knocked around by THEM things taper off for a while #only eight maybe nine unnecessary life-threatening stunts a week #until he decides it’s time to shake things up and takes on a vast government agency full of traitorous trained killers because why not? #oh but he gets help #two people #you know to even up the odds #and—’ #'BUCKY' #'shut up steve I'm telling her how mature and responsible you are' #'I'm sorry I forgot my parachute yesterday could you please just let it go' #'WE WERE FLYING OVER A DESERT DID YOU THINK YOU COULD DIVE INTO SAND JUST AS EASY AS WATER'#'I'm not used to putting chutes on! it was an honest mistake! I'm sorry ma'am here's your autograph we'll just go now c'mon buck'

(via sunshineandsuperheroes)


dying. just dying.


(via shakespeareishq)

Filed under The Avengers

109,799 notes


imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread

later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”

(via shakespeareishq)

Filed under unsorted